Recently seperated and looking

Added: Jessicca Lesko - Date: 01.10.2021 16:50 - Views: 36339 - Clicks: 3974

Think about it. And lastly, the recently separated woman is dating again. Who has time for food?! So, how do you feel when you drop 10 pounds? Most people would say they feel confident, sexy, that they love the feeling of their clothes practically falling off of them. Most would say they see themselves as being more attractive, right? You would think. But, let me take you into the mind of the recently separated 40 something woman.

Being someone who lost about 10 pounds right off the bat, I felt anything but pretty and sexy and confident.

Recently seperated and looking

I was beyond insecure. Who is going to want me? I felt defeated. Here are the reasons why:. I had zero self esteem when it came to my professional ability, and figured the only skills I had now were diaper changing, bottle feeding and house cleaning. I was very stressed because I now had to think about what I was going to do for work, with no current computer skills and no belief in myself.

I think when two people are in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, which could be for years both are losing self-worth every minute they stay together. Or, maybe you are the one who wants out of the marriage. Maybe you hate yourself which you should absolutely not! Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. That made me feel like a failure. I also felt selfish. My kids were on vacation with my ex, so I had no child care issues. Something made me accept.

Upstairs I went, searching for a cute outfit.

Recently seperated and looking

When I walked into the bar, my friend came rushing over to me. I realized that we were the only two girls at the place. A few minutes later, another man approached me. My heart stopped when I saw him because he was seriously drop dead gorgeous. He was at least 10 years younger than me. He introduced himself with a huge grin that almost gave me a heart attack. The two of us would end up talking for the next two hours! What was funny about the whole night was, it never occurred to me that he was interested in me.

Recently seperated and looking

My low self-esteem had caused me to give up any possible notion that he or anyone else would find me attractive. I seriously just thought he thought I was interesting and nice. Then, he leaned over and kissed me. We kissed for a long time and then he asked me for my phone.

I think my drive home that night was the turning point in my newly separated life. He did call and we ended up dating for a few months. But, had he decided never to call me again, the mold had already been broken. I was a newly separated divorced girl who had gone from hopeless, insecure and timid, to confident, poised and ready to face the world as an older version of my best self.

What a waste! Want Financial Security After Divorce? Thinking About Divorce? Here Is Your Legal Consultation. How Does Mediation Work? A Step-by-Step Process. Filing for Divorce? Going Through a Divorce? Names You Need and Why. Guess What? Marriage and Second Marriage Advice. Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially.

Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.

I wish I was a person who lost weight under stress! You so nailed all those feelings of toxicity, self doubt, insecurity, hopelessness. Divorce is a massive karmic kick. Part of the continued heartbreak, but a small price to pay for the rewards of a refreshing new love that suits me so much better. He accepts me and wants me muffin top and all. I separated at 40 and almost divorced at I had high hopes for enjoying dating despite my ex leaving me for another woman and introducing her to our kids while we were still living under the same roof.

However the reality has been harsh. I have been chatted up by men who have told me they will sleep with me for money, or who have just wanted a text relationship but nothing physical or by short 60 year old men. Every decent age appropriate guy is not into me. I am tall and thin, too flat chested but felt really beautiful inside and out but my inner flame is dying. Sex and love or any kind of intimacy are denied to me at such a young age.

I live in France maybe that is why it is so tough as very few men over 5ft6. Seems I will have to get used to this. He is out there. I promise!! Here—this will make you feel good. All those jerks are a good thing because they are helping you count down to the good guy!

You deserve to have love. Being divorced myself, and currently single having had a year long relationship with a girlfriend ended. I find your blog refreshing. Believe me as a red blooded male. Forty something women are the sexiest, most confident, and fun women I have ever met. Great blog! I agree with Graham, women in their 40s are more attractive in some ways then women in their 30s. Nothing is as unattractive as desparation. I turned 40 about three weeks after my divorce was final, which was about five months ago.

I can certainly appreciate the thoughts and comments because they have all popped up in my head over the last year. Your article is so timely! I just cleaned out my closet and came across a pair of jeans I bought about six months into my divorce. I tried them on and could barely zip them. I remember during the first year of my divorce oh yes, it took three years! I so enjoy reading your blog. Keep the articles coming!! Yay me! I turn 40 this year, and thankfully I see it as an amazing chance for a brand new beginning. I better get cracking on my eating healthier goal! Thank you for sharing your story.

It might be time to make the jump. I just need to be reminded by reading stories about women like you that 40 is still very much a sexy and desirable age. I absolutely love these blogs. I am newly separated — 3 months — and this gives me hope throughout my loneliness.

Reading this blog helps me to take the healthy steps to breakout! I too lost about 10 pounds during the first two weeks…. I know I have a long way to go to get to the shining light at the end of the tunnel but this blog gives me hope and makes me feel warm.

Recently seperated and looking

Thank you for this lovely comment. Just keep making good decisions and have patience. Best wishes for a joyous New Year!! I kept meaning to start a blog like this…but never did! Its one thing needing to break away and be free but time and disappointment and yes most definitely guilg towards children for it not working out for them do hit home…. Here is a perspective from the opposite side: Inside the mind of a recently separated 40 something man.

Am I bitter about this? Needless to say my self esteem, self worth and self confidence was and to a certain extent still is about zero. I began to wonder how long my stbx felt this way about me and wondered if any of it was real at all. Or had she despised me for years before her confession and just faked it. I probably will never know and these doubts will haunt me for many years to come.

Women will avoid separated or recently divorced men like the plague. And unlike the writer the chances of a cute woman coming up and hitting on me at a party are about as good as me winning the lottery. Dear forgotton one, I found your article very emotional and sincereto me being a female hearing this from a male seemed so surreal.

YOU see i feel that i have a sticker on my forehead to say watch out she is single and she wants your husband My x turned THE BIG 40 and for no reason inpacitular HE said he carnt even stand being around me so my self worth is zip zero just tryin to i dont know…….

I have been separated for about 9 months and have lost over 30 lbs. He is upset that I am happy and tries to make me feel as miserable as him. Honestly, I can say it took quite some time but I know now that I have been happier now than I was for the last 10 years of our 16 year relationship.

The fact behind the stories are these divorced women are just attractive enough for some cougar sex. Meanwhile the guy is thinking she is old and unwanted, suffers from low self esteem and is an easy sex target, so they swoop in for the conquest, and stay as long as they are interested.

Usually not long. Meanwhile you are so surprised you think this hot young guy actually likes you and you wind up pregnant at 40!! If you think you are some hot comodity think again, your so called self esteem is really just an unrealistic view that le to a superior attitude which le to you being used by attractive jokers who love to feed your new found ego.

In the end you just get older and alone.

Recently seperated and looking

In the original storyThe guy who was right was the first guy who was probably more your counterpart, but you saw him as unattractive and old cause he was more your age. If you waited and kept your head for a year or so, that so called unattractive guy would have looked good and he would have treated you well and with respect.

It is unfortunate that delusion is spread to all the forty something women who think because they lose ten pounds somehow they are transformed into Cinderella.

Recently seperated and looking

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